Fanged books, laughter, and the muraders?
by someonelse
Summary: sorta a time turner, not quite sure where it will go. hermione is sent into the past. what will happen. will she make friends with the muraders or enemies of lucius (which itself might make her friends).. read and find out. it's a new twist on something d
1. Intro

Chapter One 

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Disclaimer: I do not own H.P. or anything that is related to it, they belong to Rowling… "My coffee, where is it!?" snape peers around at the muraders "I need my coffee I was studying and I have a test later. I NEED MY COFFEE!" they all shrug. He then mumbles, "need coffee…" falling asleep on his book. Sirius says, "lets just leave him here so that he doesn't hex us if we try to wake him up." They all wander away forgetting about Sevvies test…oops. I'm sure that was completely a slip of their minds with all their tricks and all. 

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A/N thank you Catling for being my beta reader and not killing me for the grammar in it. lol. 

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We have Hermione sitting in lovely potions bored out of her mind. Yeah, she took all the notes, easily finished the assignment, and knew all the answers. Draco, most Slytherins in general, some Ravenclaws, a few Hufflepuffs, and a couple Gryffindors considered her the 'know-it-all-mudblood'. … She needed a change.

No not a lackadaisical, apathetical change, but something different that boredom was getting to her. Yeah to her it was an exciting time. To make everything worse Draco was sitting directly behind her in potions. On the positive side Harry and Ron were near her, but still Draco was behind her.

"Is the _mudblood_ dosing off? No, not little miss prefect." Draco intones lazily. Hermione just says yawning, "I'm done with my work and notes." Draco looks confused, " Try repeating that without yawning this time. If you can handle that, but after all you are a _mudblood_." She looks at him; "At least I'm not trying to pick a fight from the evil boredom." "Evil? Erm… anyway." He mumbles. Hermione glances at him, " I said I'm done with my work and notes." She yawns again. 

Snape sneers, "Ms. Granger have you been paying attention?" Hermione looks at him, "Yeah." He looks at her, "Then why were you mumbling to Draco behind you, may I ask?" Hermione mutters, " No," Draco busts up laughing and she finishes after glaring at him, " Because I'm done with all the work, notes, _and_ he's annoying." Snape glares at them, "Are you done as well Mr. Malfoy?" Draco lazily says, "yeah," he then continues to mutter, "no, I'm not done, never. I'm on a whole problem one." At this Neville is looking at him like he is insane; while Ron, Hermione, and Harry snicker. Snape looks disgusted at them, " Would you mind saying that audibly Mr. Malfoy?" Draco looks unsure at this, "Probably not considering." Snape yells, " Stay quiet then, Class is about over! Granger and Draco if you're bored have a lesson planned for Tuesday. Enjoy!" at this he just snickers. 

Draco mumbles, "Goodie! Bet the lesson is better anyway." He then proceeds to kick Hermione's chair. There is a loud 'crack' and Hermione is tipped over. She falls to the ground and looks up annoyed, "What did you do now Malfoy?" She says, "repairo." Watching the chair fix itself. Snape bellows, "NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND GRANGER AND MALFLOY!?" Draco glares at Snape while Hermione looks slightly abashed. The class bell rings and they are off to Herbiology. 

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This time Hermione is once again bored out of her mind, again finished with everything. The Slytherins are sharing the class again. Whose cruel area idea was it to put those classes back to back with the Slytherins? She once again even had Draco behind her. This day just kept getting better and better. Now she even had to do a lesson plan, maybe it _will_ be better anyways.

Draco says drawling, " Why'd you have to get us stuck planning and executing a lesson plan?" Hermione snorts in disgust, " It was your reply that irked him. You also had mumbled that it might be more interesting so don't try to blame it all on me." Draco ponders, "Irked? What was the rest of that? Wasn't paying attention." Hermione disgruntled says, " You're impossible. How is it that you can basically sleep but get hung up on the word irked?" At this Draco sneers, " Talent." Hermione mutters, "Should've guessed." 

The bell rings and the class slowly gets up Lavender jumps startled while Dean is trying to wake up Semus. Hermione mutters to Ron and Harry, " Hey, I'll meet up with you at lunch. I have to go to the common room and to the library." Harry somewhat grasps the idea through a veil of sleep, " All right," yawn, "Meet you there." Ron, Harry, and most of the school slowly wanders to the library.

"Here's the book I borrowed, have you gotten the other one turned back in yet?" The librarian shakes her head. Hermione looking dejected says, "Can you tell me who has it?" the Librarian looks it up, " Malfoy, Lucius. Umm that can't be right. This is supposed to change to whoever has the book, maybe he never turned it back in." she pauses, "That can't be right in his account was cleared when he left. Give me a moment and let me recheck." 

Hermione wanders over to the nearest bookshelf and picks a book up _The 101 Uses of the Dark Arts_. She shivers why would she pick that up? She hurriedly shoves it back on the shelf. She walks to another shelf _The Everyday Uses of Bulborus Pus_. "No, I'll pass" she mutters knowing that _someone_ could have _left _bulborus pus inside. 

She sees a book in the corner and goes to pick it up when she sees a book next to it labeled _Curses for the Everyday Need_. She mutters, "Why would you need a curse everyday, unless you were dealing with Malfoy?" She grabs the book, "AHHHH! It has fangs." At this the book grows fangs and eyes. It looks at her confused and grows little feet pushing itself into the air. It just floats there while Hermione's eyes get about three times larger than normal.

She whispers terrified, "The book is flying," at this she goes to move and it lands on her shoulder. To say the least she screams again. At this opportune moment Draco peeks inside, "What is the mudblood yelling about? I could hear her down the hall." He looks at her, then the book, then her again. He starts rolling on the floor with laughter. Hermione smacks the book off and it snarls at her. She starts to run to the front with the book quickly flying after her. Its fangs are glowing with an Erie light and it's snarling. You hear this 'creak' as the book flys, it not being awake for awhile. 

Draco is still laughing and is now gasping for air. Hermione loudly mutters, " It has to be me. Why can't it be Malfoy or someone else can it?" She passes Draco by the door when he puts his foot out. "Don't you get me involved when you get a book mad at you." She hurries to get up when he mutters; "You know how ridiculous that sounds?"

Hermione continues to glare at him. Getting up she runs down the hall. Seeing the Transfiguration classroom she ducks into it shutting the door behind her. McGonegal looks at her, " What do I owe you interrupting my class?" Hermione glows slightly red and she stutters out, "book….chasing….me…in the ..hall. had…fangs." McGonegal just looks at her confused, "Open the door and I'll stun it." A few of the Seventh years laugh. Hermione warily opens the door and hears a scream down the hall. She hears more laughing and all she catches is a glimpse of teeth before feeling fangs sink into her shoulder and an amazingly bright green flash. 

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	2. Missing persons, crawling books, and arg...

Chapter Twoà 

**Disclaimer:** The fanfiction that I am writing is a fanfiction and please don't sue me I know that I do not own the story or anything relating to accidentally or not. If anything is like the story plot line 'ish' is completely coincidental. 

"ahh a good sleep I need that." Sirius mutters, "why am I _still _talking to air? Hey I'm in potions. I thought that I went to sleep in the hopspital." He mutters to James. James looks at him, "You're awake. I thought you'd head to the hospital so I levitated you down here. You need to stop mumbling in your sleep. Something about chalkboards in the hospital wing?" that's when a voice from the front yells, "Stop talking or detention!" 

thank's to my beta but I had to post this since it was so long ago that I posted the other chappie. _Please ignore all_ _spelling and grammatical errors._

McGonegal stares at the place that Hermione was a second ago. She sees a paper float down, so she grabs it. 

_Dear Person reading this,_

Thank you for **finally** using your travelling book, considering it **was** getting quite grumpy and kept terrorizing the other books and some of the staff. A new one will be sent shortly.

She hears a 'pop' and looks down. Upon seeing a small book chasing a beetle she continues to read

__

It will be a few days before this one is ready for a destination. If you would like to know about the previous destination please contact Traveling In©_. Please allow three to six weeks for the information to be processed and found. It may take longer if the destination was made a wile ago._

She grabs the books, "what is it?" she whispers under her breath. She waves the class back to work figuring that they weren't going to anyway she walks out heading to Dumbledore's office. She nearly runs into the statue, but before it does a suite of armor scrapes bring her out of her daze. She says the password walking up the stairs unprepared for what she is about to see… . 

She hears people talking but continues to walk any ways. She looks up seeing Dumbledore on one side of the table. His hands perched like a bird going to take flight. On the other side of the table was Lucius standing the same way looking a lot more tense. Dumbledore gazing says, "The book was under _your_ name. What was in it that could have stirred a Gryffindor's interested?" At this Lucius growls, "How am _I_ supposed to know!"

Mcgonegal interrupts, "By any chance was it Hermione?" Dumbledore stutters, "Ye…yes it was." Lucius just growls, "What does the fate of a _mudblood_ have to do with me!?" Dumbledore looks at him piercingly, "Do remember who you are in the presence of, so use more. . . . appropriate language Mr. Malfoy. " Lucius just looks at hime coldly, "What does _this_ have to do with _me_?" Mcgonegal says, "It _had_ nothing to do with you, but it may now. A rampaging book, don't smirk Mr. Malfoy, it had fangs. After biting a student and a green flash it distributed this note. The student disappeared somewhere though where…….." She gingerly hands over the note, as if to lose it is to lose the key. Then again maybe it is.

Lucius in a foul mood says, "Since I'm getting dragged into this, can I see the stupid note?" Lucius scans over it and starts to laughing, "Bet it's still set to go to Blacks time of his sixth year, like he had it set at one point." Dumbledore mutters, "What? Wait… nevermind. Now I know these books are generally banned. By any chance was _your_ missing book a traveler?" 

Lucius snorts, "Well I'm older now so you can't expel me, so….. most likely." Mcgonegal looks curious, " Where did you have it set to go? I'd almost swear I saw you in the girls dormitories a couple of times during seventh year." At this Lucius goes bright red. This is an amazing feat compared to his emotionless mask he usually wore. Lucius stutters, "Uh. Uh…" and turns away. Dumbledore's eyes twinkle, "That solves that. Did you have a spell that let you use the same book multiple times, or just wait for a new book?" Lucius composes himself, "the book only dissappears if you use a large amount of energy or power, such as traveling across the world……or back in time."

Mcgonegal gasps, "How… what are we going to do? How will we get her back to this time… Oh No!…" Lucius interrupts, "she'll be with the Muraders, ol' Sirius himself." He snickers, "this could prove interesting," Mcgonegal looks shocked, "It's not funny!"

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Hermione awakens in a room of white walls and sheets. She thinks 'I'm in the infirmary. I bet that stupid book poisoned me with some rare poison. Bet the Slytherins are laughing.' She looks up noticing footsteps. It's a nurse, 'who's that?' passes through her mind. 

The nurse bustles around, "you're awake. That's good you surely gave Professor Binns, a scare. Which is amazing considering he is a ghost. You apparated or something, though you gave erm.. the Muraders a good laugh, and Lupin a nasty bruise on his head.

At this point the words are swirling through her head… muraders? Muraders? No I couldn't be could I? She stammers, "Lupin?" the nurse looks at her, "yeah, I know that you're new, he's a student here. He really helpful and I guess he was trying to help you, though don't get him too mad." Hermione is even more flaberghasted, "what happened? Why does Lupin have a bruise?" Hermione figuring out that it's Madam Pomfry, who looks confused responds, "you don't know?" Hermione shakes her head, "that's not good. Probably just disoriented because it looks like a …. A fanged book… bit you." Hermione growls, "stupid book!" Madam Pomfry chuckles, "I'll go find Lupin to clear this up. Though I fear that you will have to deal with Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. I know that doesn't mean much right now, though you'll see." She bustles from the room. 

A few minutes later in comes three boys. One having ruffled black hair, one ruffling his hair, and the other just having messy hair and a bruise on his forehead. Lupin keeps shying away from the other two. At least she thinks it's Lupin, who can tell with the Muraders? "Hey so this is the girl? I'm James Potter, either works. This is Sirius," who nods his head, "and that's Lupin over there with the bruise you so fashionably gave to him."

Sirius glances up, "you really did a good job. How did you apparate? I mean you're not supposed to be able to on the Hogwarts ground." Hermione looks at him, "you've read _Hogwarts: A History _then?" he just smirks, "me read? Where did you get that unfashionable idea? I got it from James who got it from _Lillykins_." At this he smirks more, if possible.

Lupin looks at Sirius, "I hardly doubt he could pick a book up to read. It's uncouth for him." James mutters, "Lupin, try using words which he will understand." James then dodges the oncoming assault behind a curtain. They all hear, "YOUR ROTTEN POTTER! YOU SHOULD BE FED TO CHIMERAS OR MAYBE A DRAGON…" James walks out, "Oops, wrong curtain." When Sirius throws a pillow at him, hermiones of course. 

Hermione mutters, "what happened?" she sees James and Sirius go to say something with a silly grin on their faces, "Wait! Lupin what happened? And give me my pillow back!" Sirius picks it up and throws it to her. Lupin mutters, "umm..erm." James laughs, "you're the debonair one aren't ye?" Lupin snorts then precedes to say…..

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Thanks for reading I'll update when I can, which should be soon. Hope you enjoy and I will keep updating while I have ideas. When I don't it'll take me a little longer but that's still a ways off.


	3. Missing wands, explanations, and Slyther...

Hermione mutters, "what happened?" she sees James and Sirius go to say something with a silly grin on their faces, "Wait! Lupin what happened? And give me my pillow back!" Sirius picks it up and throws it to her. Lupin mutters, "umm..erm." James laughs, "you're the debonair one aren't ye?"  
  
Lupin snorts then precedes to say, "You apparated or whatever, showed up, scared Binns witless. Then you seemed stunned so I went to see how you were. Though you had passed out and Sirius tried to shake you awake, it didn't work obviously. I went to pick you up to take you to the infirmary knowing Sirius over there," who just grins, "he'd probably kissed you or something and... ."  
  
Sirius intones, "and you being afraid of Mooney here sat up real quick leaving him with that pretty medal." At this James just laughs. He then turns serious, "How'd you come here? I mean you haven't answered that." Hermione looks lost, "I-I came here when a fanged book bit me."  
  
Sirius says, "So a paper cut? I didn't know they could be so lethal. What would have happened if it would have transported you to Sevvie or Malfoy? You'd given heart attacks. As much fun as that would be I'd hate to see the hex or curse that came out of it. Aww too bad luck wasn't with us. No offense." James says, "I'll have to remember that, lethal paper cuts, now I can't do my homework nor classwork."  
  
At this timely juncture a boy with a smirk somehow grinning, ice blue eyes, and blonde hair slipped out, "it's not like you did any ways Potter or Sirius for that matter." Lupin looks at him, "Aw shucks and our party was going so well. We really wasn't missing anyone but... ."  
  
Someone bursts in with bright red hair and green eyes, "That's where you guys are." James yells, "Lillykins!" Lupin just says, "Perfect as always, Lilly." Lilly smiles at Lupin and smacks James, "you know I hate that name! Then again that's probably why you do it... insufferable prat. Debonair like usually Lupin." Lupin sticks his tongue out at James and James comments, "wah! You hurt my feeling Lilly." Lilly just looks at them about to retort something when she notices Hermione again, "Hi I'm Lilly."  
  
James steps away and yells, "Lillykins!" she growls at him, "Lilly." He pretends to glare putting his hands on his hips and pouting, "Lillykins." Lilly just mutters, "you're impossible James, so are you Lucius but that's more because you're standing there being ignored and looking bored."  
  
Lucius throws his hands into the air and mutters, "No, No that's perfectly fine. I would rather not be brought into this, please ....Lillykins." James and Sirius snicker while Lilly yellsm "I'm so going to get you James and Lucius that _wasn't_ funny!" Sirius walks over, "As much as I hate to admit it.. that was nice!" he hive-fives Lucius.  
  
Lilly glares at them and coldly says, "It's Lilly, not Lillykins." James glanced at her, "she said Lillykins, so it's official now. She's er......" she glares at him, "James you say it and I _will_ hex you to the stars and back." James dodges behind Hermione's bed and taunts, "Lillykins." Lilly goes to walk to the other side of the bed when she hears, "Sorry mate." And he hops over her bed and runs out the door, "toodles." Lilly screams annoyed, "JAMES I'M GOING TO GET YOU!"  
  
She turns around rubbing her temple, "Dumbledor wanted me to give you your schedule. He figured that you could do sixth grade work. The hat upon seeing you declared Gryffindor. I guess it mumbled something else but he wouldn't disclose any further. You'll be bunking in my room and he'll send some stuff up. Also I'm so glad you're in my year there is almost no girls in that year."  
  
Madam Pomfry comes in, "You're free to go and I'm sure Lilly would show you out." She turns to Sirius," I'm sure you'd help but make sure to not get confused on what corridors lead where." He feigns innocently, "Me? I'd never do the sort."  
  
Hermione looks worried, "where's my wand? Where is it? I don't have my wand!" Sirius snickers, "I saw it though I fear that I _had_ it, but... "She looks at him, "_Had_! What do you mean _had_!? WHERE'S MY WAND SIRIUS?" He feigns ignorance," Me? I didn't lose it, but I also don't know where it is." Lupin's eyes were twinkling with mischief, while Lilly starts to yell, "Sirius! Give her, her wand back!"  
  
Madam Pomfry comes back, "OUT! OUT! You're disturbing the other students! I'm sure you'll find your wand...erm.." Hermione interjects, "Hermione." Madam Pomfry continues, "Hermione I'm sure Sirius would be oh so kind to tell you where your wand is. So out now!... You as well.... Lucius." Who had already sneaked out of the room.  
  
They leave the infirmary and Hermione groans, "This is terrible!" Lilly tries to cheer her up, "At least classes start tomorrow, with Herbology. Though... it is with the Slytherins." Sirius laughs, "Haha. Well have fun locating that wand of yours. They can't get up and walk around, or .... can they?" Hermione and Lilly yells, "Sirius!" They go chasing after him down the halls. Where Sirius then dodges into a hall and stops panting. Hermione slides into him making them fall into a heap. Lilly then stops running nearly falling into them, when she collapses onto the floor.  
  
"Let me up!" Hermione screeches. "Haha, I'm not doing anything." Sirius chuckles. Lilly chuckles when Hermione replies, "You surely are NOT helping." She finially sorts herself out away from Sirius. He grabs her wrist when she tries to get up, "What's the fun of that?" Hermione looks at him, "Fun? It's not supposed to be fun. I'm looking for MY WAND!" Sirius just grins as she lands on his lap. "You did that on purpose," She says. Sirius laughs, "Prove it!" All this time Lilly just laughs.  
  
James sneaks up behind 'Lillykins' and goes, "Aww, Lillykins, why won't you.." Lilly interrupts, "Ha! I got you!" James just grins, "Are you sure that you used the right spell?" She turns to him thinking, "Yeah, I used ... No don't you dare!" She tries to scramble out of the way when James grabs her around her waist, "Haha, Lillykins finally didn't use her smarts. So how's the first time?" She glares at him, "You're evil James Potter."  
  
Hermione looks around," By the way Sirius, Why did you stop so abruptly?" He looks at her, "Oh yeah! Slytherins.. or Slytherin. Didn't think I'd forget you Lucius." They all hear Lucius grumbling, "wha?" James says, " Come on over here, join the party." He mutters, "Are you sure that I would want to?" James chuckles, "Why not? You get to see Lillykins at her moment of glory" Lilly yells, "James Potter!" He pouts, "Ouchy that was my ear."  
  
"Oh yeah Sirius?" Hermione says. He grins, "What?" She yells, "LET ME UP!"  
  
**A/N**: Sorry this took so long to update. Hands those who waited a virtual cookie =) 


	4. Wormtail, running and mutters

Sirius howls, "OWW!" All this time Lucius is trying to sneak away. Hermione notices, "If you're going to sneak away you might as well just walk away. "He smirks, "Why of all people would YOU care? I mean it's not like you know me, and to be specific," he grins, "I wasn't sneaking away.. but you were rather.. er preoccupied to notice this." At that Sirius grins and Hermione blushes. James whines, "Ah Hermione don't bother Lucius here. He's just testing out his Slytherin qualities." At this Lucius laughs, "... .. you would know," and he walks away. Lilly mutters, "I don't trust him." Sirius intones, "I think Wormtail is one of the few," he then whispers, "We pawned him off earlier but you'll get to meet him, I'm positive." He notices Hermione stiffen, but deems that to the picture they had painted to Peter.  
  
Hermione looks around, "Ah umm what was Lucius doing up here?" At this Sirius and James grins sheepishly, "Sure you want to know?" James says. Hermione looks at Sirius who is grinning, "I'll pass". Lilly says, "Thanks, and you'll know eventually anyway." James laughs, "uhm.. Hey Sirius did you see?" He smirks, "Yeah, So I'm not sure she will. "  
  
Hermione looks at him, "Wha? Nevermind. Let me up and give me my wand back!" He looks at her pondering, "How about not, since I don't have you wand, Moony does!" At this he chuckles. Hermione fights with him to get up, when low and behold Moony is at the far end of the hall. Sirius yells, "RUN! SHE KNOWS. I'LL PROVIDE TIME!" At this Lupin looks startles but then laughs and takes off at a jot. "Let me up!" Hermione yells. At this Sirius laughs, "Nope." So she bites his arm and runs in the direction Lupin had.  
  
Hermione keeps running and becomes fearful that she lost him. When she has almost gave up hope she sees the cornor of a cloak. Thinking she hears the person laughing she figures that it's Lupin tackling him. "I got you! Wait..."  
  
Draco is storming around the castle. Everyone was dodging his path including his goons and fanclub. What, you may ask, could Draco be in such a foul mood over? He mutters, "The mudblood was imbecile enough to be bitten by that book. Now I have to do that stupid ecopocentric lesson by myself." He then quickly adds, "Not that I needed a mudbloods help, but she already has everything memorized."  
  
"As should you," a voice says. Draco spins around and sees himself facing Lucius. It's weird, his normal stoic mask isn;'t there and he's chuckling, "I'm going to be here because I was drafted to figure out how to get it back to it's time. Stupid mudblood getting attacked by a book." He grins, "A book of all things. And to make it better it was a book that Black has set to go back to his sixth year time." A look of comprehension dawns on Draco's face and he starts laughing "She'll be near the Muraders! Aww this is hilarious." At this time he's howling with laughter, "Wait, won't she meet you back then? As well as everyone else?"  
  
At this point Lucius starts mumbling some VERY inappropriate words as he starts to run down the hall. Draco has confusion wrote all over his face. He then continues to ponder whether he should be laughing at her or angry she ditched the lesson. He decided that he didn't want to know what was with Lucius' reaction. He chose the latter and continued to storm the castle.  
  
As Lucius is running down the hall to Dumbledor's office, still swearing up a storm, a suite of armor flips him off. He doesn't know if it was the armor or Peeves. Right before he reaches the office he stumbles, landing flat on his face, "Uhmph," he mumbles between curses. "Mr. Malfoy what is the cause of your curses? Hopefully not I, and would you like help? Or are you comfortable in laying on the floor?" At this a statue shucks a water- balloon hitting Lucius adding a drenched look to his already frayed appearance. Dryly Lucius replies, "Can we talk about this in your office?" 


End file.
